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Looking for Love Online – Buyer Beware
When you ask a friend about where she met her new guy and she says, “at an Online Dating site,” are you stunned? Or are you comfortable with the fact that online matchmaking is the new pickup scene for singles?
Either way, more and more people are meeting online and developing lasting relationships. Some actually result in marriage and we’re talking marriages last beyond the weekend!
We get everything online now, so why not a date? One advantage the local bar has over online matching is that you can actually see each other. In the online world, you can literally re-create your identity to be anything that you want to be.
You can bet that many people in the online dating scene do that. Veteran online daters have had plenty of experiences where the photo did not look anything like the person they met.
Whether the photo had 30 pounds electronically edited off their thighs or turned a beer belly into six pack abs, the reality looks nothing like the promise in the photo. Then there’s the posted information that may or may not be true.
Yes, he works with the executive team in a high powered financial trading company. Doesn’t that make you think he’s a stock broker or an executive? He hopes that’s what you think.
The fact is, he does work with the executive team – he delivers their mail. He’s the mail clerk and does coffee runs for the executive team meetings. So he’s not exactly lying, but he sure is letting your imagination run wild.
In Cyberspace, you can be anything you want to be. It’s like a giant dollhouse where pretending is expected and you can change your persona at will. The only difference is that kids at play know it’s pretend.
Online, you can’t easily tell who is real and who is lying. If you’re sincere about meeting a date online, then put your real self out there, too. Don’t do what you hate from other people and make yourself out to be something that you aren’t.
Post a current photo, preferably one that shows the real you. Forget the glamour girl shots with wispy feather boas and teased hair. If you’re a tee shirt and jean jacket kind of girl, then put that photo on your profile.
List your occupation honestly, but don’t give too much information (where they might be able to track you down). You can say that you’re in an entry level banking job without saying you’re a morning teller at Maple Street Branch of XYZ Bank.
Be honest about your preferences. If you only want to date guys from your same cultural, ethnic, religious or philosophical background, then say so. Why waste their time (and yours) by not adding all of the qualifiers that are important to you?
It’s better to get a few select responses from guys that you would consider dating than an email box full of answers from guys who aren’t really your type.